Espada High
by The Neliel Tu
Summary: AU. So a bunch of espada are going to high school. How...interesting. What kind of sick joke is this? Well, it's not, actually.
1. Chapter 1

_(A/N: Aha, so I got the idea to write this crack-ish story from someone I talk to on gaiaonline. We were having the most random conversation, and for some reason, it got into something like this. So, a lot of the ideas I am borrowing from him. I'll have to thank him later, cos he is awesome. _

_Anyway, this story. Hehe, I didn't do much introducing, but that will definitely come in the next chapter, which I'll probably write soon. I have no internet, so I guess sadly, I am not distracted! I can write! _

_Well…when I get the chance to. Anyway, the crack…I mean, story!)_

**The Great Assembling**

The auditorium of the new high school filled up quickly, and voices echoed throughout it.

It had only been built the summer before, and Neliel was one of those who were greatly pleased. She sat back in her chair, practically falling asleep. She had been up late the night before, working on an assignment for a class.

Beside her was Halibel.

"Neliel, wake up." Halibel shook her lightly.

"Oh…" she frowned lightly. "I had a late night—well, you know."

"As did I." Halibel shrugged, smirking.

"Did you really? I doubt you were doing homework!"

"Of course not." Halibel snickered. "Look, Nnoitora's really staring at you."

Neliel's eyes moved over to Nnoitora, and she giggled softly. "Ever since I shared my juicebox with him in first grade he's been giving me that look."

"He's so in love with you."

"You think so?"

"Look at that, he's got that lovesick expression."

"He's such a creep sometimes, though." Neliel frowned.

"Not as bad as Aizen."

The two leaned against each other in fits of laughter.

Nnoitora could not help but to stare at Neliel. This particular day, she was wearing a short, mint green ruffled skirt that swished when she walked, and a light pink tank top that exposed the top half of her cleavage. Sure, Halibel showed off a great deal more, what with her extreme belly shirts, but Neliel was something else.

Ever since preschool, he had had a strange obsession with the girl. He had fallen in love with her in the first grade, when she shared that juice box of hers.

He sighed, and looked away. He didn't know he was in love with her.

"Nnoitora…"

"Shut the fuck up, Tesla. I didn't ask for your opinion!" Nnoitora turned and snapped Tesla's pathetic little eye patch. Maybe it had been a bit extreme of him to shoot him in the eye with a pellet gun, but it had been funny at the time.

"I just said your name…"

"Shut up!"

"Yes, sir."

"Goddamn. You might be family, but you're fucking annoying. Only thing you're good for is beating the shit out of." Nnoitora muttered. Szayel Aporro took a seat beside Nnoitora, and leered at him.

"What the fuck is with you, Szayel? You're not gay for me again, are you?"

"What would make you think that?" Szayel snickered. "You've been staring at Neliel all morning. What is it about her today? Is it the way her shirt matches her birthmark, or is it the way her skirt matches her hair? Or, is it the way her skirt swishes, or the way it shows off most of her legs?"

"Szayel, you're a sick bastard."

"Maybe it's Miss Neliel's breasts." Tesla said. Nnoitora turned bright red and looked away.

"Oh! He's blushing! Look at that!" Szayel smirked.

"Shut the fuck up! Leave me alone!" Nnoitora muttered.

Grimmjow sat in another section, with his small gang. His gang consisted of Di Roy, Il Fort Granz, Shawlong, and Nakim. "I hate these stupid fucking meetings." He grumbled to himself.

His loyal gang members immediately chanted their agreement, and he sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He whipped out his iPod and turned up some death metal to tune all the other idiots out. "Dumb fucks."

Ulquiorra sat in a corner sullenly, his eyes cast straight ahead. He was pretty much a loner, and he had never really felt the need for popularity. He would not mind being a "cool kid," but he had never made the effort.

Yammy, that fat lump, sat beside him, talking about something nonsensical.

"Yammy, please, I am thinking."

"Oh, fine." Yammy shrugged and looked away. He was also pretty much a loner, and he thought Ulquiorra was the coolest guy ever.

Ulquiorra sighed. This high school was so trashy.

Zommari sat in the back, a human size duffel bag propped up on the seat beside him. Occasionally, it would squirm and twitch a little bit, but he did not notice.

He only muttered things about "Amor" to himself as he waited for the assembly to begin.

Some of the high school students had a feeling that this school year was going to be rather insane.


	2. Molestation and Rivalry

**Chapter Two: Molestation and Rivalry**

Aizen walked up onto the stage, and grinned at everyone.

"On behalf of the entire staff, and the construction crew, and as student body president, I would like to welcome the students to this new high school." He stated with great pride. Several females in the audience practically swooned.

Halibel simply scoffed and rolled her eyes. "What a show off." She muttered, and a female nearby hushed her. "Oh, you're just jealous." She mumbled, and Neliel giggled softly.

"Halibel!"

"You know he's after me like no other."

"Oh, yeah! Like that one time at my party…"

"He had his way with me in your bathroom."

"Oh, gross! Halibel, I didn't need to know that."

"Don't worry, I cleaned up with bleach once we were done. I had a hell of a time explaining that to him."

"Oh."

Gin had followed Aizen onto the stage, but it was quite apparent that he was only there for show, or for moral support. He was the vice president, and quite creepy.

Later on, Neliel walked through the halls alone, not realizing that Nnoitora was following close behind. Of course, he had the same class as her, but she did not know that. After all, it was only the first day.

She perked an eyebrow for she noticed that Zommari was dragging his human sized duffel bag around. He had always been strange, and she had known him for quite a while. After all, she was one of the very few who knew that he was Halibel's brother.

"Hi Zommari!" she greeted brightly, and he nodded.

"Amor, amor." He returned, which she took to mean 'Hello, Neliel,' or something along those lines.

Nnoitora grumbled something under his breath, for he was secretly jealous of anyone Neliel spoke to, even briefly.

"You're following me?" Neliel turned on him.

"Uh, no. I'm going to class." He rolled his eyes. "Fucking crazy ass bitch."

"Oh." Neliel turned and moved on to her class, which happened to be a physics class.

She glanced at the seating chart, looking only for her name, and not noticing who sat near her. She took her seat, which was the second row in the middle. Of course, the tables each had two seats, except for two large ones in the back.

Neliel looked through her purse, pulling out a green pen just as Nnoitora sat beside her.

"What are you doing, Nnoitora?" she asked.

"I'm in this damned class. This is where I fucking sit. Got a problem?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. "No. I guess not." She muttered, looking away.

The others filed in, and Halibel sat just in front of and to the right of Neliel.

"Oh, Neliel, look who your lab buddy is!" she smirked and giggled. "How cute!"

"Halibel!" Neliel rolled her eyes. Gin sat beside Halibel, and Neliel snickered.

"Neliel…"

"Oh, Halibel, I wasn't thinking anything." Neliel giggled, then watched as Zommari dragged his duffel bag in and set it down at one of the tables in the back, unzipping the top so that Cirucci's head appeared.

"About damn time! I was suffocating in there!" she cried indignantly, gasping for breath.

"Amor?"

"The hell?"

Ulquiorra shuffled in silently, sitting just behind Halibel. His sad green eyes found the back of Halibel's head, and he found that the sight was rather eye catching.

Aizen and Szayel walked in at about the same time, and sat in the front left corner beside each other. Tosen and Yammy sat in the desks on opposite sides of the room just in front of Cirucci and Zommari.

Nnoitora jabbed Neliel in the ribs sharply, and she glared at him. He did it again, and she cried out.

"Ow! Stop it!" she cried, and he did it again. "What is your problem?"

The next poke landed on her breast, and she grabbed his hand to stop him. He snickered, and Neliel scoffed.

"Don't do that." She demanded, and he laughed.

"Who the fuck is stopping me?"

She pouted and looked away. She had to admit that she kind of liked that touch, but what could she do? She then had a thought. It was time for another boyfriend, and to tease Nnoitora that she had given her virginity to another (which she actually hadn't).

"Oh, Nnoitora…" she smiled sweetly at him.

"What?"

"Oh, last night, I had the greatest sex."

"The fuck?" Nnoitora glared at her. "With who?"

"Oh, it was Szayel Aporro. It was amazing!"

"Huh." Nnoitora gritted his teeth, determined to beat the living hell out of Szayel the next time he saw the pink haired fruitcake. Dumb ass.

Meanwhile, Aizen was having Szayel pass love notes to Halibel, while Gin read them over her arm and snickered to himself. Stark sauntered in and sat beside Ulquiorra, yawning.

"I woke up for this shit? What the hell?" he muttered, then rested his head on the black table and fell asleep.

"Nnoitora! You want to know who took my virginity?" Neliel asked sweetly.

"What? Who the fuck, Neliel?"

"It was your cousin. Tesla!"

"Shit. I'm gonna kill that fucker…"

"What? Why?" she asked innocently.

"Huh? I didn't say anything."

"Whatever you say, Nnoitora." She giggled, and mussed up his hair.

"I didn't, goddammit!"

"Okay." She shrugged and looked over to Halibel, who passed her a love note from Aizen. Neliel accidentally covered up the part that said "Halibel", so Nnoitora thought the letter was for her.

"Who the fuck wrote that sappy bullshit?" he asked, reading the note.

"Huh? Why, you think it's for me?"

"No."

"It's for Halibel, and Aizen wrote it. You know how he is. She needs to find herself a better man, and before you say anything, she's not interested in you, or any of your friends." Neliel said with a grin. "Besides, everyone knows who you want."

"Oh yeah? Who do I want?" Nnoitora demanded.

"Um, it's not obvious?"

"You gotta fucking tell me." He growled, and Neliel rolled her eyes.

"We should really be paying attention to filling these things out." She said, grabbing the worksheet and waving it in Nnoitora's face. The teacher was at the back of the room working on something, and the only person in the front of the room who was actually working happened to be Szayel.

"Tell me, and I'll do both of these goddamn worksheet things."

"Obviously, it's me." Neliel said. "You don't need to do my worksheet. I remember what your grade in chemistry was." She said, and he grabbed her worksheet.

"I'm doing it anyway."

"Nnoitora…"

"Fucking bitch, I'm doing your damned worksheet."

"Oh, fine." She turned away and opened a book and began to read, as Nnoitora did two worksheets. When he handed her finished one over, she looked it over and found that it actually had the right answers. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she felt the strangest impulse to hug Nnoitora.

She gave in, and he mumbled a few 'what the fuck?"s. He managed to grope her covertly, and somehow she did not notice.

Halibel saw the whole thing and giggled, and Neliel turned and shot her a death glare. Well, she had to admit, she kind of liked the guy, but it was so new boyfriend time, because she knew there was no way that Nnoitora would commit to her.

Then, the bell rang, and Nnoitora grabbed Neliel's sheet again to turn it in for her. She looked confused, but gathered up her things and walked after Halibel.

"You've got first lunch, right?" she asked, and Halibel nodded. "Oh, good. Let's go eat."

"Can we drop our things off in the locker first?"

"Yeah, it's on our way."

Tesla in the halls found Nnoitora. Nnoitora punched his cousin in the face.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Taking Neliel's virginity."

"What? I did not!"

"She said you did, dammit." He muttered. Tesla sighed.

"So…who is she sleeping with this time?" he asked nervously, hoping it wasn't him.

Szayel moved to Nnoitora's side, and Nnoitora punched him in the face too.

"What was that for?" Szayel demanded angrily.

"You fucked Neliel last night."

"Right. I was actually in my lab last night."

"Well, so was she, then. Fuck." Nnoitora glowered. "I'm going to lunch."

"Me too." Tesla said, and Szayel nodded.

"You're not sitting with me." Nnoitora left them to get into the lunch line with Neliel, who acted as though she'd been saving the spot for him.

Grimmjow stalked through the halls, separated for once from his little gang. Neliel saw him, and smiled to herself. He'd make the perfect boyfriend, if she could snag him. Then, she'd make Nnoitora jealous, and she'd probably end up with yet another boyfriend breaking up with her due to a beating from Nnoitora.

She looked to Halibel, who waved her away. "Go get him, Neliel."

Neliel watched as Grimmjow got in the back of the line, and she looked back. "Grimmjow!" she cried, and he perked a brow at her as she waved him to her spot, completely ignoring Nnoitora. He moved toward her, and she smiled cutely at him.

"Thanks, woman."

"Woman?" she tilted her head.

"I don't know your name."

"What?" Neliel's eyes widened. "How can you not know who I am? I was class president every year until Aizen took my place." She scoffed, and Halibel nodded.

"Hey, Halibel." Grimmjow greeted, and she rolled her eyes.

"And you don't know my best friend Neliel?" she smacked Grimmjow lightly. "How terrible!"

"Oh! Neliel. You know I'm terrible with names, damn."

"You'd best remember mine." Neliel said softly, and heard Nnoitora grumble something. "Nnoitora, hush." She demanded, punching him swiftly in the stomach. "Don't forget, I totally dominate you."

"Fucking bitch." Nnoitora grumbled, holding his stomach.

"Why don't you sit with us today, Grimmjow?" Neliel offered brightly.

"Yeah, sure. Isn't anywhere better to sit." He mumbled, and Halibel snickered.

"Halibel, look!" Neliel pointed at Aizen, who had an entire table reserved. She still held a bit of a grudge on him for taking her presidency away from her, for he had been switching back and forth from two schools for the longest time. It wasn't until high school that he finally chose their school.

The other school just so happened to be their rival.

"You're out for football, aren't you, Grimmjow?" Neliel asked with a smile, and he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm the captain of the team. You're out for cross country, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'm the fastest girl." Neliel stated with pride. "I win every race I run." She said. "And Zommari's the fastest guy. He's awesome." She sighed, poking Halibel. She rolled her eyes, for her parents liked to pretend that Zommari did not exist.

"What class do we have after lunch?" Halibel asked to change the subject.

"Health." Neliel said.

"I got that too." Grimmjow said.

"Yeah. Me too." Nnoitora said.

"Oh. Great." Neliel sighed at Nnoitora. She knew she'd probably end up sitting next to him, just like in every other class.

"I hear we're having a field trip in health." Halibel mused as they sat down at Aizen's table. Halibel and Neliel picked at their food, while Grimmjow and Nnoitora devoured theirs.

Ulquiorra, followed by Yammy, sat at the back of the lunchroom and ate his food in silence, even though it was trashy food. School lunch was always rather disgusting.

His deep green eyes found Halibel. She was rather gorgeous, he decided, and she reminded him vaguely of a girl who had come to their high school for a very short time. He had been assigned to lead her around, and he had grown rather obsessed with her.

Then, her trashy friends had taken Inoue Orihime back to the other high school. Ulquiorra had never really gotten over that, but perhaps he could obsess over Halibel. She looked to be non-trash.

Szayel and Tesla sat together, and ate quickly, for they were prone to beatings. They really wanted to get out of the lunchroom, for that was the worst place for fights.

Mila Rose, Apache, Sun-Sun, Lilinette, Menoly and Loly all sat together, gossiping about school in general. Loly and Menoly eventually got into a conversation on how divinely sexy Aizen looked that day.

After lunch, everyone filed into the health room at about the same time.

At a table in the back sat Nnoitora, Neliel, Halibel, Ulquiorra, and Tesla. Ulquiorra was pleased to be able to sit beside the woman who had captured his interest, and Nnoitora was rather delighted that he got to molest Neliel in yet another class, which he did promptly.

"Nnoitora, stop it!" she smacked his hands away and glowered at him. "You do that in every class we have together."

"And we have every class together."

"Oh no…"

At the table in front of them sat Zommari, his duffel bag (a.k.a. Cirucci), Apache, and Mila Rose. At the table beside that one sat Sun-Sun, Stark, Menoly, and Loly. At the table beside that one sat Szayel, Wonderweiss, Tosen, and Gin. At the table behind that one sat Aizen, Edorad, Nakim, and Yammy. Aizen grumbled at the positioning, but at least he was near Gin, so he'd have someone to talk to.

Beside Aizen's table were Di Roy, Shawlong, Il Fort, and Grimmjow.

"All right, class, today after school, you are going on a field trip, arranged by none other than Sosuke Aizen."

"Eh?" Nnoitora waggled his eyebrows at Neliel. He would make her his seat buddy. She sighed and closed her eyes. She had been planning on sitting with Grimmjow.

"I have plans tonight, however, and there are no available bus drivers—besides Sosuke. So, he will be driving and supervising you."

"Oh no! I'm going to miss practice!" Neliel exclaimed suddenly, and whipped out her cell phone to text her coach that there was a field trip. Since she was once the president, she was allowed to do such things. She shot a glare at Aizen for usurping her authority, and then texted Grimmjow. 'Sit with me on the bus.'

He stealthily reached into his pocket and replied 'Damn straight.' She grinned and winked at him, much to Nnoitora's annoyance, and jealousy.

"Bitch…" he muttered under his breath.

"Would someone tell me what you do in a fire?"

Zommari raised his hand, and he was called on. "Amor amor amor amor."

"Um…sure, that's right. Stop, drop, and roll. Very good."

Later on, the health class gathered in a lobby, waiting for Aizen to arrive with the bus.

"Oh, this is going to be great!" Szayel exclaimed.

"Amor!" Zommari said to Cirucci, who frowned.

"I'm fucking hungry." She muttered, and he pulled a bag of birdseed out of the duffel bag. "Oh!" she devoured the bag, plastic and all, and belched.

She moaned softly, for the food had aroused her. Zommari waggled his eyebrows at her, and muttered 'Amor, amor…' to her.

Il Fort, Shawlong, Di Roy, Nakim, and Edorad all fought over who would get to sit with Grimmjow, who told them all to fuck off.

"I'm sitting with Neliel, bitches." He informed, and Nnoitora grumbled about that, but was ignored.

Neliel moved to Grimmjow, smiling sweetly at him. "You want to go out with me?" she asked, and Grimmjow's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, damn."

She wrapped him in a hug, pressing her full breasts against his chest. "Oh shit…"

It wasn't until Grimmjow was on the bus that he recalled that Nnoitora had sort of claimed Neliel for his. "Shit…"


	3. Field Trip!

**Chapter Three: Field Trip! **

Halibel managed to get a seat to herself, and noticed that Ulquiorra was across the aisle from her, just staring at her. She wondered what that could be about, but did not think too much about it.

Nnoitora sat behind Neliel and Grimmjow, who were making out like there was no tomorrow. He grumbled obscenities under his breath, clearly jealous of Grimmjow. _Fucker…_

Tesla tried to sit beside Nnoitora, but was shoved away. "You're not fucking sitting with me." Nnoitora growled, and Tesla settled for the seat behind Nnoitora. Szayel sat beside Tesla, showing him his new cell phone.

Zommari sat in the back with Cirucci, Loly, and Menoly. He looked happy as he muttered 'Amor'. Mila Rose and Apache sat in a seat in front of Sun-Sun, who buried herself in a book.

Yammy sat behind Ulquiorra, who continued to stare at Halibel, the coolest girl in school, along with Neliel. Halibel was slightly cooler, in Ulquiorra's eyes.

Gin sat behind Aizen, and Tosen sat with Wonderweiss, for the kid was a bit special. Grimmjow's gang managed to sit together, and grumbled about Grimmjow and Neliel's PDA. Di Roy and Il Fort had actually dated Neliel at one point, but they had been beat to hell by Nnoitora.

They knew the same fate would soon befall Grimmjow.

Halfway through the bus ride, Nnoitora had had enough. He grabbed Grimmjow and threw him from the window.

"Ah! What the hell?" Grimmjow cried out several obscenities as he skidded across the pavement, and ended up on the side of the road. Then, Neliel got a call.

"Nel, I'm breaking up with you."

"Nnoitora!" she cried furiously. "Quit beating on my boyfriends!" she smacked him, and he pulled her over the seat and into his lap. "What are you—?"

"Shut up, Neliel." He muttered as he grabbed her hips and made her straddle him. She buried her head in his shoulder and sniffled. Nnoitora felt ever so slightly guilty for tossing her now ex boyfriend out the window, but she was in his lap, so it was all right.

Halibel looked over to Ulquiorra, who continued to stare at her. He looked rather interesting, she decided, and patted the empty seat beside her, to see if he would sit beside her. After all, he did seem rather shy.

He sat beside her, and she smiled at him. "Why are you staring at me so intently?" she asked.

"I find you pleasant to look at." Ulquiorra admitted, and continued staring.

"Oh." She shrugged, and patted his head, finding that his hair was soft, and delightful to the touch. She petted him, and eventually buried her face in his hair, much to his surprise.

"Oh…it smells so good." She murmured, and he tried to smell her hair, but found that he could not move.

"Thank you."

"I love your hair." Halibel told him in a dreamy voice, and he was glad that he had accepted the coolest girl in school's offer to sit beside her. She continued to pet his hair, and then she was suddenly pulling him into her arms and snuggling up to him.

He definitely did not mind that.

"I'm freezing." She murmured, and he held her close to him, wondering if she was ever not freezing. After all, she hardly wore any clothes.

Zommari had his hands inside the duffel bag that contained Cirucci, and she was gasping and moaning softly as she continued to devour bag after bag of birdseed.

It was more the food making her gasp and moan than it was Zommari's fingers teasing and pleasing her, but that was certainly contributing. Until Aizen yelled "Hand check!" and Zommari had to dig his hands out of the bag and raise them in the air, as did everyone else.

As Neliel hid her face in Nnoitora's shoulder, he took the chance to grope her, his hands cupping her breasts. She noticed, and she looked at him furiously.

"Usually, the only guy a girl lets grope her is her _boyfriend_." Neliel growled, and Nnoitora shrugged.

"Call me whatever the fuck you want." He said. "Long as I get to touch you wherever, and whenever."

"Oh? You're my boyfriend, then." She said, letting her hands rest on his shoulders.

"What the fuck ever." Nnoitora muttered, though he couldn't be happier. He'd be damned if he'd give up sexy time with Halibel's three friends, though.

"Apache! Which one of us do you think would have a better chance with Stark?"

"Obviously me."

"You wish! It'd so be me, bitch!"

"Yeah fucking right!" Apache retorted, smacking Mila Rose. This provoked a full out catfight, and their faces were soon inches apart.

"You wanna make out?" Mila Rose asked.

"Yeah, sure."

Out of the blue, Halibel licked Ulquiorra's face. This caused him to take on a confused expression, but before he could question Halibel, she was devouring his lips.

He wasn't sure what the kiss was about, or if it even was a proper kiss, but he had never been so happy in his entire life. Not that he showed it or anything. Using his emo ninja skills, Ulquiorra groped Halibel, his hands moving to all of her soft parts. He couldn't help it that he had an obsession with large breasted women!

Well, except for Neliel, but she had been long since claimed by Nnoitora, and he did not feel like dealing with trash like him.

He was so wrapped in thought that he didn't realize that Halibel was groping him in return.

Halfway through Halibel's 'kiss,' her phone beeped to tell her she had a text. She finished up and grumbled something about it, then checked her phone. "I wish that asshole would stop texting me!"

"Who?" Ulquiorra asked curiously.

"Aizen. He has the biggest obsession with me. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because he thinks I'll put out again…which I won't! Ah, hold on." She texted him back a nasty-o-gram.

"Hmm…" as she did that, Ulquiorra grabbed his own phone and texted Yammy, telling him to beat the hell out of Aizen. No one else was going to obsess over his current obsession but him!

Szayel and Tesla sat in their seats texting each other back and forth. Sun-Sun had moved to the seat behind them, watching curiously, and figuring out each of their numbers. She then started texting them, as well.

"Nnoitora…"

"What?" he pinched her right hip.

"Ow! What was that for?" she pouted, and he shrugged. "I was just going to tell you that my parents are gone for the week." She lowered her voice, turning it into a more seductive tone. "I've got the house to myself. Want to come over tonight?" she asked.

"Fuck yeah! Wait…I gotta cancel some plans." He muttered, whipping out his cell phone and texting Halibel's three sexy friends that he "couldn't sex them up tonight, maybe tomorrow night". Then he grinned at Neliel.

"We're going to have fun." She giggled, and Nnoitora licked her cheek, as he groped her not so stealthily. She squirmed slightly, and then kissed him. He took the opportunity to shove his long tongue down her throat, and she sucked on it lazily, running her hands through his hair.

She was surprised to find that it was very soft, and she pulled away. "What conditioner do you use, Nnoitora?" she asked with a tilt of her head.

"None of your damn business!" he retorted, and she pouted. Of course he wasn't going to admit to using Herbal Essences, and making all the moaning noises in the shower, just like in the commercials! "What the hell kind of conditioner do you use?" he demanded.

She blushed slightly. "Mane and tail…" she said, and he snickered.

"Yeah, whatever." He frowned. "What the hell are we going to do tonight, anyway?"

"Well…" she blushed, and he knew what they were going to do. "We need protection." She whispered, clearly embarrassed by the thought.

"We'll fucking stop at Kum And Go or something. You can buy that shit!"

"But…" she pouted. "I don't want to." She said, and he rolled his eyes. Damn her pout for being so irresistible!

"Fine, I'll buy that shit. You're buying it next time, though."

"No way!" she pouted, and Nnoitora muttered a swear or two.

Then, the bus stopped, and Aizen stood up. "We have reached our destination. The adult store."

Several jaws dropped as they wondered how they would get in.

"Don't worry. You will not be IDed. You will each be given one hundred dollars to spend as you see fit."

Neliel flushed and looked to Nnoitora, who had a devious expression on his face. They all left the bus, collecting their money as they exited. Yammy made sure to be the last one to exit, collecting his money before beating the hell out of Aizen.

Then, as he got off of the bus, Ulquiorra took his money.

"Thank you, Yammy."

For a long moment, Yammy wondered if he was supposed to have been paid, but then he just went back onto the bus and curled up in a ball and fell asleep.

Stark made his way into the store, and fell asleep in a porno-watching booth.

Neliel tugged on Nnoitora's arm, her eyes wide. "You gotta get the protection!" she begged, and he muttered something under his breath.

"Tesla! Get over here." The little blonde obeyed, standing before Nnoitora. "Give me your money." Tesla handed over his money, and Nnoitora handed him back a twenty. "Go buy me some rubbers."

"Yes sir!" Tesla saluted, and Neliel placed a hand on his shoulder before he could leave, and handed him a ten, winking at him.

Then, she handed Nnoitora the rest of her money, on the excuse that 'I wouldn't know what to buy…'

Nnoitora then dragged her through the store, grabbing armfuls of role-playing costumes. She managed to talk him into some bondage items, and other things that she'd need for that kind of thing.

Halibel led Ulquiorra through the store calmly, and after making a few purchases, dragged him into one of the booths. "Here, take your clothes off, and put this on." She said, handing him a condom.

"Yes, ma'am." He returned, inwardly happy, but not showing it. Well, except for with his erection, which he quickly dressed with the condom, much to Halibel's delight, for she undressed herself as well.

Tesla wandered through the store nervously, looking for the rubbers that Nnoitora had requested. He managed to find several boxes, and bought thirty dollars worth. The lady behind the counter eyed him, and threw in a bottle of lube for buying so many condoms.

Blushing furiously, Tesla ran back to the bus, hiding in the seat behind Nnoitora and Neliel's. He threw the purchases on their seat, and cowered back in his.

Aizen lay on the floor of the bus, and Gin quickly performed quick medical aid on him, while wearing his creepy grin.

Nnoitora saw Szayel looking through tentacle porn, and he punched him in the face, leaving him with twenty dollars.

"Damn, now I'll only be able to buy two of these." Szayel said with a pout, clutching his bleeding nose and trying not to drip.

Zommari dragged his bag of Cirucci through the store, and eventually brought her into a porno watching booth, pointing at the screen and going "Amor! Amor!"

"What the hell are you showing me this shit for?" she demanded, and Zommari frowned, and then pointed at her, then him.

"Amor?"

"!!"

Halibel impaled herself on Ulquiorra, and he gasped in slight surprise. He was thrilled, really, for he thought that finally, he could be cool. That, and the sexiest girl in school was sexing him up.

As she moved on him, she could feel his hands on her breasts, and that made her moan ever so softly. After all, they were in a public place, and she would not make a huge scene. Then, her phone began to ring, and she grimaced, furious, for she knew it was Aizen.

She thrust her body up and down harder, her fingernails clawing Ulquiorra's skin. He found that he liked her aggressiveness, and he orgasmed at about the same time she did.

"Wow, that was the best." Halibel whispered, cozying up to Ulquiorra, who just held a somewhat satisfied expression as he caught his breath. He was very pleased that Halibel had thought he was the best, and held her tightly. "I'm having a party this weekend. Do you want to come?" she asked.

"Yes, I would love to." Ulquiorra returned.

Szayel made his purchases, and the lady behind the counter handed him a handkerchief. He gratefully took it, soaking up the blood with it. He then scurried back to the bus, sitting beside Tesla and blinking at him curiously, then pushing up his glasses.

"What's with you?" Szayel asked.

"Nnoitora made me buy condoms for him and Neliel."

"Oh. Oh, ew!" Szayel looked at the blood soaked hanky. It was purely disgusting! "You want to come over and watch these with me?" Szayel asked, and Tesla eyed his porn warily.

"I guess." Tesla shrugged.

"You have ten minutes left." Aizen appeared in the doorway to announce, much to everyone left in the store's disappointment. Nnoitora thought about dragging Neliel into a fitting room to make her try on an outfit so he could sex her up, but decided that ten minutes was not enough time.

Instead, he dragged her to the checkout counter, buying about four hundred dollars worth of costumes and other items. Neliel blushed at the look given to her by the lady behind the counter, and hid behind Nnoitora. Then, he dragged her back onto the bus, sifting through the bag excitedly, and pulling her onto his lap again. Neliel managed to grab the boxes of condoms and the lube before they ended up sitting on them.

Stark woke up and grumbled something, and made his way to the bus, where he fell asleep under Neliel and Nnoitora's seat.

Eventually, everyone had filed back in, and Aizen was driving the students away from the store.


End file.
